I'm Pretty Sure That's A Second Line...

So your boobs have been tender for about a week.  They sometimes get heavier when you're due for your period, but this just feels... different.

You're getting crampy tummy twinges that are a bit like PMT cramps but just somehow... different.

You're 27.  You live a young, fun lifestyle.  You've been with the love of your life for a grand total of three months.

You've always wanted children.

On the way to work you pick up a home pregnancy test from the supermarket.  You dash to the loos as soon as you get to work, open up the pack, read the instructions carefully, pull out the stick - and pee on it.

Pee on a stick!

Pee creeps along the absorbent window.  First line comes up - control line.  Pee creeps along.  Is that a faint second line?  That's a second line.  It's getting stronger.  That's a second line!!!

That means...

It doesn't feel real.  You hold it inside all day, even though you work at the same work place as your partner.  Once you both get home, you blurt out with it: 

"I peed on a stick and the stick thinks I'm pregnant!" 

(Yes, these were my actual words).

Your partner, also 27, is in a mild state of shock but doesn't scrimp on the hugs, so you think things are going to be ok.

I'd love to say it was like this....

...to be honest, it was really more like this...

The next day you do a digital pregnancy test.  If it says it in words, it must be real!  There's no mistaking a little window that says "PREGNANT".

I guess I'm pregnant!

*  *  *  *

The same day as the second pregnancy test, I went to see a doctor - and did a third pregnancy test (just to be sure) - and had some bloods taken.

Since then I have taken three more home pregnancy tests.

Just goin out on a limb here, but I think, maybe....

I think I am slowly beginning to really believe that I am actually pregnant :-P

I got my blood test results back a couple of days ago and my hCG was 414 at the time of the blood being drawn, consistent with being about 4 weeks pregnant.  Meaning the doctor's calculations were about right, and I am now about 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant.

I'm due around August 6, 2011.  My birthday is July 30!  So my lovely man will have to put up with two Leos roaming the house :-)

I'm already a worrywart mother.  I'm terrified something will go wrong.  I just want to know baby is healthy and safe and growing well.  My man and I are house hunting, trying to find a nest.

The past week has been an emotional rollercoaster.  No one ever talks about men's experience of pregnancy, but it has been an emotional ride for my wonderful man as well.  He is being as supportive as he can while getting his own head around the idea.  I love that so much of his fear and anxiety around it all is due to the fact that he wants to make me happy and provide for us and make sure I'm not going to run off.  Not a chance!  He feels powerless and vulnerable.

I have been feeling mostly fine physically, apart from the odd crying spells.  Slightly tender boobs.  A tiny bit of cramping.  It feels surreal.  I have to keep reminding myself all day that it is real.

What a journey I have ahead of me!!